#004 The Old Sock Cap
Hard days come to fathers and sons, but so do good days, however they may come.
Mid-December 2013 I was sitting in my back yard by the firepit with our dog Sam. I was very dispirited over how things were going between my thirteen year old son and myself. I wrote a story called The Sock Cap that was inspired by a photo in our hallway:
There is an old picture hanging in the hallway of his home. Every time he walks by it, he thinks of the good times he shared with his son and wife on the day his wife had taken it ten years earlier. In it he sees a much younger version of himself lying in a pile of leaves with his young son.
Tonight, he pauses in the hallway for an extra-long time to stare at the old picture. His mind begins to relive that cold autumn day that was so full of playfulness and laughter. The big grey sock cap in the picture catches his attention. The cap had served him well over the years but in the photo the son was wearing it. He would always place it on his son’s head on the coldest days.Â
The father is thinking of his son tonight. It is the holiday season, and the fourteen year old son doesn’t speak to him much. They are beginning to have the usual problems that many fathers and sons experience throughout this phase of life. The father misses the simpler times such as the day forever frozen in time in the picture hanging on the hallway wall. The father is troubled.
The fathers’ thoughts flash forward in time several years from the day the picture was taken. He is thinking of a spring hiking trip where an older version of himself and the now twelve year old son disappeared together into the wilderness on a four day journey.
In the wilderness the son is wearing the same old sock cap that he donned in the picture. He began to get hot while climbing one of the mountains, so he took it off. The father took the sock cap and strapped it to the outside of his son’s backpack for easy access later. When they arrived at the shelter where they were going to stay for the night the son reached for the sock cap but quickly realized that it was gone.
The son looked at the father with a mixture of fear and sadness in his eyes. He knew that the sock cap had been worn though many good memories between himself and his father. They had memories of sledding in the snow, raking leaves, watching Christmas parades, even hiking the trail and of climbing the very mountain they now stood upon. The son knew that the father had always made sure that he would be warm and protected. The sock cap was a long-time symbol of that and now it was gone.
The father reassured the son that he shouldn’t be concerned with the sentimental value of the sock cap, though they were both sad that it was gone. The father reached into his own pack and pulled out another sock cap for the son to use.Â
Another hiker happened by that evening and the son asked if he had seen the sock cap on the trail. The hiker said that he had picked it up a few miles back, but not knowing who it belonged to, had placed it in the first shelter that he came to.Â
Later that evening while laying around in the shelter the son had reached the conclusion that if they were destined to part with that sock cap that this trail is the best place to do so. You see, they were on the Appalachian Trail and the son was learning that events on this trail, like life itself, have a way of working themselves out for the good of those who wanted to experience it wholeheartedly; The trail gives, and the trail takes away. The son concluded that maybe the trail will give the sock cap to someone who will need it more than he did. The father agreed.
Still lost in his thoughts in the hallway of their home the father continues gazing at the picture. He is reminded that he has shared many great memories with the son over the years. He knows that hard days sometimes come to fathers and sons. He concludes that the best that he can do is to teach the son what he can about life, love him well, and be patient.Â
Picture perfect days will come and go as did the day that was frozen in time in the hallway photo. A useful sock cap will come and will go as it did on the trail, bringing warmth for a period, then passes on to someone else. Fathers and sons, though imperfect in their relationships, can build something together that remains long after the pictures have faded, and the symbolic items have been forgotten. They are forever bound together.
Update (2014): Sam our dog is no longer with us. We buried him in the spring. After being gone for several months, my son came home for the end of Sam’s life and his burial by the fire pit in our back yard. My wife said at the time that she believed that Sam’s final gift to our family was to bring peace in our home once again.
Hard days come to fathers and sons, but so do good days, however they may come.
This one is my favorite.